a walk in the park.

one of my favorite things to do now that the weather has warmed up is take Audrey in the stroller to Bur Mill Park and Summerfield Community Park. it's a great work out for me, and she loves checking everything out! i've been struggling with a lot of pain still from my c-section incision and intense work outs are too much for me right now, so i've stuck to power walking a few times a week lately and it feels great! i love Summerfield Community Park because they have great trails that are challenging, even for just power walking. there are a lot of steep hills that cause me to "feel the burn" as i push 10 pounds of stroller and about 12-13 pounds of baby up them haha :) Plus, the park is absolutely beautiful even though everything is still bare from our measly "winter."

 

i almost forgot this hilarious story that i've been dying to share with you! it happened two weekends ago when Will and i took Audrey to Bur Mill Park for a walk and some pond fishing. we were on our way back home and stopped in front of the grocery store to get a couple movies from redbox. while i was inside, Will said Audrey was fussy so he reached back to dig around the car seat and find her paci. he said that when he reached under her leg looking for it, that she was really "sweaty." he then proceeded to bite his fingernail or hangnail, something to that effect. whatever it was, he put his hand in his mouth. well, we got home and i went to take Audrey out of her car seat. i said to him, "wow, she IS really sweaty." the look on his face when he saw me pick her up was priceless. it was a combination of horror and concern. it turns out that Audrey wasn't sweaty, she just had a major poop blowout and her pants were completely soaked all the way down her leg! Will immediately turned three shades of green and started panicking and saying, "oh my gosh Lindsey i think i accidentally ate baby poop!" i haven't laughed that hard in a long time! i said to him, "welcome to fatherhood. she has officially initiated you!" :)

well if you're in the mood for a great recipe after that story, i have one for you! this amazing casserole comes from a cookbook that Will's granny Helen gave to me last summer. it's called poppyseed chicken and it's Will's favorite dinner to date. he actually asks for it on a weekly basis! this recipe makes about 6 servings, so we always have a lot of leftovers!

thaw 5-6 chicken breasts, then boil until tender
shred or cut the chicken into small, bite sized pieces and spread evenly over the bottom of an ungreased 13x13 pan
in a separate bowl, mix 2 cans cream of chicken and 8 oz. of sour cream and pour over chicken, spreading evenly
finely crumble 2 sleeves of ritz crackers and spread over the top
melt 1 1/2 sticks of butter and pour evenly over the cracker topping
sprinkle 3-4 tsp. of poppy seeds over the ritz crackers
bake 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees until bubbly

here's what mine looks like :)

i usually pair it with steamed green beans, as the leftover sauce from the casserole is great to mix the green beans with! can you tell i'm really getting into cooking lately? i have really enjoyed picking new recipes out of my cookbooks and Will loves his one on one time with Audrey while i'm busy in the kitchen! she loves him so much and always strains to look for him whenever he leaves the room :) she could play with his beard for hours! she just loves to lay there and touch it repeatedly. it's pretty cute :)

in other news (that i've been dying to tell you) my best friend Laura is pregnant! we are so, so, SO excited for her!!! Audrey is going to have a best friend! she has been such an amazing aunt to Audrey --  she sat with me while i was in labor and brought me bath goodies for when i got home and some magazines to pass the time. she showed up every day and supported me so much when i was going through such a difficult time. she even came and sat with me in the NICU even though she wasn't allowed to hold Audrey. she is such an amazing friend and i'm so happy for her to join me in mommyhood!

audrey rolls over.

i am proud to announce that we are now the owners of a video camera! we've been wanting to get one for a while but haven't found exactly what we wanted in our price range. i finally found a deal too good to pass up at target on friday! the timing couldn't have been more perfect because our sweet girl decided to master rolling from front to back this morning! she's done it a few times already but it was mostly just her hating tummy time and rolling on her side to get out of doing it :) she rolled over five times in a row this morning! here's a couple videos -- one with just me in the background, and one with Audrey blowing raspberries at Will with two rolls because the first one happened so fast we almost missed it!

i also did some practice videos, which turned out pretty cute as well. the first one is mostly just Audrey staring at me, being very camera shy. the second one is Audrey talking to her mermaid, which is a daily "thing" in our house now. she loves to chat with her!

i also picked up bowls and spoons at target this week as we are starting to practice spoon feeding with baby oatmeal next week when Audrey's high chair arrives (thank you Grandma and Grandpa Gertz!) i love the spoons the most i think -- they are spatula spoons!

i'm so interested to see how things will go next week. she LOVES putting anything and everything in her mouth lately, even the handle of her teething paci....

um Audrey? you're doing it wrong! :)

fingers in mouth are a favorite. especially if she can get multiple fingers from both hands in there!

i love her cheeeeeks!!!! ahh!! and her side smile :)

she's really good at reaching and grabbing objects, holding them, and putting them where she wants -- in her mouth, throwing them on the floor, passing to her other hand. her favorite toy at the moment (besides her mermaid, obviously) is this awesome ball....

it bounces when she throws it, it squishes so she *thinks* she can mash it into her mouth, and her tiny fingers can grip it easily. that's all for now -- look for more videos next week as we start a new chapter in babyhood!

4 months old.

yesterday our sweet girl turned 4 months old! it was a special day because it was also the first time it snowed this year. we didn't take her outside to see it (too cold!), but she seemed content looking at the mysterious white flakes falling from the sky from the living room window :) Will took this picture at the office this morning... so pretty!

Will left this morning for Indiana for the National Forestry Association's yearly conference. He was asked to be this year's key note speaker at the conference! We are so proud of him! He got to hear Audrey laugh for the first time last night when he was playing with her before she went to bed. it was so sweet!

hello!

can you tell she's teething? :) she was trying to eat her hands in almost every picture!

rawr!!

i also wanted to share this chicken salad recipe i made for the first time last night! when i was pregnant, i had an unnatural obsession with chicken salad. my favorite chicken salad ever comes from a small cafe in Waycross, GA. when we were visiting this summer, i ordered a pint of it to take home with me. there was a mix up in the order and somehow i ended up with 5 pounds of chicken salad! we abandoned most of it but after eating chicken salad for lunch for a week straight, i never wanted to touch the stuff again. then, i came across the recipe from the cafe and decided to make my own with some left over chicken breasts i had thawed for dinner last night. it turned out great and it's not as unhealthy as most chicken salad recipes tend to be :)

1 lb. of chicken (about 2 boneless skinless breasts, boiled until cooked)
1/4 cup of plain yogurt
1/2 cup mayonnaise (i used Dukes Light mayo - yum!)
lemon juice
2 cups seedless grapes cut in half
the recipe also calls for 1/2 cup of chopped walnuts, which i didn't have and it still turned out great so i guess it's just a preference to add or no

shred the chicken and toss in a small amount of lemon juice (to taste)
combine yogurt, mayo, and grapes together and gently fold/mix with chicken, refridgerate
serve over lettuce (i like to use spring mix or tear pieces off of a head of lettuce) and drizzle fat free raspberry vinaigrette on top

ta dah! delicious!!

wonder weeks.

it's been a long week. our sweet little baby has not been in the mood to be very sweet, especially the past few days. i'm so thankful that Will didn't have to travel this week because i needed a break desperately in the evenings. she's been sleeping a lot more during the day than usual so i'm assuming it's a growth spurt. according to the Wonder Weeks chart that our pediatrician told us about (we just use it as reference and until now have had less "stormy" weeks than the chart suggests) we're smack dab in the middle of some major leap weeks (developmental growth spurts). last week (16 weeks old) wasn't too bad, but this week (17 weeks old) has been really rough.

when she's not sleeping or eating, she's crying. the last few days she has refused to nap anywhere but in my arms. i hate to give in and make a habit out of her refusing to nap unless i'm holding her but i don't know what else to do. i hate getting frustrated, when i know she can't help it. on a side note, lately when she cries she goes, "ooooooo mamamamamama" which is somewhat adorable, despite the circumstances :)

unlike most babies, Audrey does love taking her pajamas off and getting a new outfit on. i don't know why but it just makes her so happy. i took these today on the changing table getting her out of her pajamas after her morning bottle... 

my valentine.

"Valentine's Day is so stupid. it's like, oh hey, it's the middle of February. i love you." -- Christina Applegate, on "Up All Night"

Will and i have never been much for Valentine's Day and this year is no exception. he's home this week so we're grilling burgers and spending time together with Audrey before she goes to bed. sounds like the perfect night to me! here's some pictures of our little cherub :)

"be mine" or i'm just gonna pout!

her new "thing" is blowing raspberries. Will started it and now it's all she wants to do haha they could sit and blow raspberries at each other for hours!

and she thinks it's the funniest thing!

still loves to be sitting up!

usually when i take Audrey to the grocery store with me, i bring the moby wrap and she falls asleep as i'm shopping. yesterday, she was awake the entire trip and loved poking her head out and looking around at everything. even the cashier noted how observant she is :) she would rest her head on my chest for a few minutes, and then when something would catch her eye, she would pop her head out like a little baby bird and get the cutest look of wonder on her face. i was melting and cherishing those moments whilst shopping for yogurt and things.

date night #2

Tomorrow, Will and i are going on our second date night since Audrey was born almost 4 months ago (yes, Audrey will be 4 months old in 9 days -- cry!!). Poppa is taking her overnight. I have a feeling that this time will be much better for him in the sleep department!

In posting pictures lately, I realized that i don't have any recent picture of me and Audrey together. We did an a quick photo shoot this morning. It didn't last very long because she was a little cranky but here is my new favorite picture in the whole entire world!!!

 

this one was a close second :) look how long her eyelashes are getting!! i'm just going to say it...my daughter truly is BEAUTIFUL! 

are we really doing this... AGAIN?? :)

you can't make me cooperate!

i'm just going to eat my shirt instead. so there!

poppa's girl.

here is a sweet picture of Poppa and his favorite girl :)

 

Audrey laughed for the first time tonight. it was the sweetest thing ever. so adorable, that i started crying a little. very confusing :)

back to the beginning.

a lot of people ask me if/when Will and i will have another child. it's a difficult question to answer... at this point in time, my team of doctors are all recommending that I not get pregnant again. this is not to say that i cannot get pregnant, but if i do, there will be risks. Cholestasis is pretty rare, very serious, and is also reoccurring, so if i were to get pregnant again, there is no telling how much damage a second baby would do to my liver. they would also take the baby a little earlier than Audrey, since she had a lot of complications that came from my liver problems. we would be facing another c-section at 34-35 weeks this time, almost guaranteeing another NICU baby. i just don't know if i could put my body through that again, or my heart. having to watch my tiny girl go through so much during her first week of life still haunts me. don't get me wrong, she is doing amazing now and as each day passes those memories aren't as strong, but to see another one of my children in the NICU would be devastating. over the weekend, my dad put some pictures of Audrey's first few days on a disc for me, so i thought i would share...

in her isolette, being transferred to the NICU

she hated that feeding tube so much

i hated seeing her hand bandaged up from the IV lines. in the bottom right corner is a blanket we received from the NICU support group representative. she was really sweet and wrote a little note to us letting us know that she was informed about "our journey" and wanted to give something to cheer us up.

my dad holding his granddaughter for the first time :)

<3

her hair has gotten so long since this was taken! it was fuzzy and dark when she was born, now it's long and light brown!

snuggling with mama :) her shoulder is out of her shirt so that all the wires and IV lines wouldn't get tangled in the sleeve.

i also found a few outtakes from our wedding pictures that i LOVE!

i swear, most of these outtakes are just me laughing hysterically. it was the happiest day of my life, what can i say?

don't laugh! the photographer told me to "be sultry." so this is me "being sultry" and Will laughing at me because i look silly :)

more laughter. oh, and Will trying to eat my shoulder. typical!

recovering from the last laughing session!

distracted much?

hahahah i dont' even know what's going on here!

okay...i'll be nice, if you be nice!

more laughing, of course :)

hahahahaha no words!!!

looking back to all the emotions that came with getting married that day, i didn't realize how great of a journey we were beginning together. i always knew i wanted to have children, but now actually having a 3 1/2 month old daughter just completely blows me away. who knew that just a year and 2 weeks after we got married we would be tested and come out stronger than ever, bringing our little Audrey into this world. being parents has brought us closer together than ever and i absolutely love parenting with Will. a few nights ago, we both agreed that before Audrey, we felt that something was missing. i was still reeling from the loss of my mother, Will was feeling like he needed to grow up (imagine that! haha). i will be honest, we were struggling in our own separate lives, which caused a struggle in our relationship. i will never forget the morning that i found out that i was pregnant. Will and i were laying in bed talking before we both had to get up for work. i told him i thought i should take a test. i got up, took the test, and it came back positive. we were so incredibly happy. getting ready for work that morning, i think i might have put on my shirt backward and mismatching shoes -- something to that effect because i was just in a daydream. our lives were forever changed in that moment. talking to my grandma at lunch about what it's like to lose a spouse made me realize how devastated i would be if i ever lost Will. i can't imagine what it would be like to go through that. i know how much it hurt to lose my Poppa and my mother, but it's so much harder when that person is the face you woke up to every morning, the one who knew you better than anyone else. i love how Will and i are so amazing together and watching him become, a father has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. we just have so much love between the three of us. it makes my heart soar :)