my family is my thanksgiving.

last year on thanksgiving my dad said a prayer before dinner as Sara, Michael, Will, and i stood around my mom. i didn't think she could hear us because she was so far gone, but when my dad said Amen, she opened her eyes just a little bit, smiled, and said "that was very nice."
i'll never forget that moment.

this year on thanksgiving my dad said a prayer before dinner as Michael, my Grandma, Will, and i stood around the table. there was silence as my dad gathered up the words he wanted to say to us, to God, and to my mom. this time, i knew without a doubt that she could hear us because i felt her there when he thanked the Lord for giving all of us the strength to go on without her.

it was in that moment that the last year of my life went flying by me and i was back with my mom again. it's hard to believe that is has been a year now. my struggle is that i get stuck in the past and i can't just leave it be. in my thoughts, i cannot seem to leave the comfort and familiarity of being with my mom, to face what is happening in my life right now. it was hard for me to accept the changes that happened this thanksgiving because all i really wanted was for everything to go back to the way it was before. i needed to feel like nothing had changed, even though our whole worlds have changed. i knew that, but i still struggled to come to terms with the fact that life would never again be like last year, no matter how hard i tried to put it all back together, like the way it was then. i was so thankful for my dad, especially this weekend, because he was the strength that i needed when i got stuck in the past. he was my reminder that if he could do it, then i could too. i was so thankful that my Grandma came here to be with all of us. we needed her and she kept us all together that thanksgiving night.

this year on the anniversary of my mother's death, i learned that i needed to stop trying to hold everyone in place so that nothing ever changes, and no one ever forgets.
i learned that i needed to embrace the family that surrounds me now, the ones that have been there all along - my husband, my dad, my brother, my sister & her fiance(!), and my little nephew.



my family is my thanksgiving.

i carry your heart. i carry it in my heart.

weekend warrior

i am this weekend's biggest fan.
why?
i have gone to war this week and now i'm really, really tired.
i'm not complaining, i swear. i know that my hard work will pay off when i graduate this spring and especially when i get my paycheck next week, but i'm having a hard time seeing things that way right now because i have been in battle with just about everything and then some since monday morning, just hoping that i could make it until five o'clock today.
i'm in need of some major down time. as Will said to me last night, "Lindseybear, you need to go into hibernation don't you?"
yes i do.


my monday to friday life went a little like this:
5 hours in the bryan business building getting everything ready for a 30 minute presentation to the president and owner of a local company that i had to pitch my export marketing strategy to (which was the result of tons of meetings and the never-ending research report that i have been slaving over for the past four months).
10 hours in the library.
a market research exam.
6 hours of in-class work.
2 business law exams.
a 7 page business practices paper.
oh, and also a full 40 hour week at work.


there are only three weeks of school left which is such a relief. this weekend i have "nothing to do for school" because i'm exhausted, so i am pretending that i don't have anything that needs to be started/worked on/finished before wednesday night (since every professor likes to give their students a bunch of last minute exams, papers, etc. to do before break). i'm hiding my books, shutting down my computer, turning off my phone, and going into hibernation for the next two days.


for now, denial is bliss. i am a happy girl.
see me on monday and i probably wont be so happy anymore.

a few more wedding pictures

a few more pictures from aunt karla and my sister...

Will's mom hosted an amazing lunch for me a couple hours before the ceremony. thanks mama jen!



sara & corey with chubby! i love that little man!
plus... they are the cutest little family ever.




last time i saw my cousins they were shorter than me. i didnt even recognize them!



grandma carolyn, allie, aunt becky, beth & nick, and jamie/james (love my hammersley family!)

the hammersley sisters (should we hyphenate now sara?)
p.s. i'm mad that i'm wearing 4" heels and i'm still shorter than her!



my father-in-law and sister-in-law




aunt lynda with my lovely lady friends - becca, stacy, nanda!




grandparents unite!



just in case you need yet another picture of my amazing dress :)

wedding pictures

my new "aunt-in-law" took tons of pictures during our wedding weekend and i'm so thankful she did! we have to wait a couple months to see our professional pictures so in the meantime, here are some official unofficial photos. she did an amazing job! thanks aunt karla!

the inn at crestwood in boone, north carolina

terrace

even on a gloomy day it was so beautiful

family! brother (Cliff) and cousin (JP)

Will with granny & poppa

me!

stacy keene you're such a dream! mom = 27 & i love you



sara making sure my train never touched the ground! (i think im right in the middle of being bossy and telling her not to ever let it touch the ground haha)



more dress action

this dress made everything so perfect - thank you daddy!!

trying to "swing low" when your wife is a whole foot shorter than you was difficult :)

so happy! Will couldnt stop playing with his wedding band (if you're wondering what's going on with his hand haha)

prayer

robert kept telling us to try and have a "quiet moment" together - he obviously didn't realize that it's almost impossible for us to ever have a quiet moment....ever.

annnnd this is why i love my best friend. dear becca, thank you for making me smile every day. i love you.

michael (my brother) with my "entourage" -- becca, ann, stacy, sara

our lovely (and cold) wedding party - so dedicated!




all together

 



getting ready to jump

 


jumping! well kinda... we were all laughing so it was kinda hard to get it all together






flower toss. Will isn't tossing anything - i told him he had to catch my veil so it didn't touch the ground. i was all about not letting anything touch the ground that day.

  



funny

 

the reception



our cake topper says it all. no explanation needed...



...plus i think it looked almost exactly like us - the groom even has the classic "rugged" Willbey beard

will and the lady friends

our getaway truck "got hitched" - you can't see it but on the front it says "can't hunt alone anymore" and "laundry boy" hahahaha

my rollerskate mobile "caution! just married"
Will: i think it should just say "caution" all the time har har




one of my very favorite shots

 




 this is my absolute favorite picture so far......



our faces say it all... i look blissfully confused and will just looks.... pouty. he hates taking pictures.
pouty and confused - a match made in marriage heaven :)  

  

tornadoes and a deer

i'm really, really sick and having a really, really hard time focusing at work right now so here's an update.

last week Will and i were watching one of my favorite shows ever Parenthood when it was very rudely interrupted by a weather alert for a tornado watch...and then a warning...that it was coming straight towards us. we watched (and i panicked) as the radar map showed a nasty storm coming our way from winston and there reports that there had already been a couple spotted near the house. Will called up to the fire station down the road and asked if we could head over there for the time being until it passed, but it was already full! we ended up sitting in front of the tv for the next couple hours watching and waiting. luckily nothing came within a few miles of the house. but then the next evening.... an even worse storm and another tornado formation was headed our way. lucky for us (again) it didn't come that close to the house but the thunderstorm and wind took its toll on our little country bumpkin road (and my nerves!)

my husband the hunter has been living in the woods lately tracking his prey and finding where the innocent little deer creatures sleep and eat, and the paths they habitually travel along. he set up his deer stand and informed me that saturday was his lucky day for hunting so he would be waking up at 5 am to continue his tradition. last year on october 30th, he shot (as his brother says) "the oldest deer in the forest" at his parents hunting club in georgia. the year before that, again, on october 30th, he shot the "biggest deer ever in his life" out at his uncle's farm. this year proved to be lucky too. he woke me up at 9 am to tell me to get up and come outside to look at his trophy deer. being sick and cranky, i put up a fight for a few minutes until i realized that my 23-year-old hubby was dancing around like a child on christmas morning and this was something really important and exciting to him. i bundled up and followed him out to the backyard to admire his hard work and also, take a picture:

he spent the rest of the morning cleaning the deer and packing up all the meat.
i went back to bed.
all is well.