my family is my thanksgiving.

last year on thanksgiving my dad said a prayer before dinner as Sara, Michael, Will, and i stood around my mom. i didn't think she could hear us because she was so far gone, but when my dad said Amen, she opened her eyes just a little bit, smiled, and said "that was very nice."
i'll never forget that moment.

this year on thanksgiving my dad said a prayer before dinner as Michael, my Grandma, Will, and i stood around the table. there was silence as my dad gathered up the words he wanted to say to us, to God, and to my mom. this time, i knew without a doubt that she could hear us because i felt her there when he thanked the Lord for giving all of us the strength to go on without her.

it was in that moment that the last year of my life went flying by me and i was back with my mom again. it's hard to believe that is has been a year now. my struggle is that i get stuck in the past and i can't just leave it be. in my thoughts, i cannot seem to leave the comfort and familiarity of being with my mom, to face what is happening in my life right now. it was hard for me to accept the changes that happened this thanksgiving because all i really wanted was for everything to go back to the way it was before. i needed to feel like nothing had changed, even though our whole worlds have changed. i knew that, but i still struggled to come to terms with the fact that life would never again be like last year, no matter how hard i tried to put it all back together, like the way it was then. i was so thankful for my dad, especially this weekend, because he was the strength that i needed when i got stuck in the past. he was my reminder that if he could do it, then i could too. i was so thankful that my Grandma came here to be with all of us. we needed her and she kept us all together that thanksgiving night.

this year on the anniversary of my mother's death, i learned that i needed to stop trying to hold everyone in place so that nothing ever changes, and no one ever forgets.
i learned that i needed to embrace the family that surrounds me now, the ones that have been there all along - my husband, my dad, my brother, my sister & her fiance(!), and my little nephew.



my family is my thanksgiving.

i carry your heart. i carry it in my heart.

weekend warrior

i am this weekend's biggest fan.
why?
i have gone to war this week and now i'm really, really tired.
i'm not complaining, i swear. i know that my hard work will pay off when i graduate this spring and especially when i get my paycheck next week, but i'm having a hard time seeing things that way right now because i have been in battle with just about everything and then some since monday morning, just hoping that i could make it until five o'clock today.
i'm in need of some major down time. as Will said to me last night, "Lindseybear, you need to go into hibernation don't you?"
yes i do.


my monday to friday life went a little like this:
5 hours in the bryan business building getting everything ready for a 30 minute presentation to the president and owner of a local company that i had to pitch my export marketing strategy to (which was the result of tons of meetings and the never-ending research report that i have been slaving over for the past four months).
10 hours in the library.
a market research exam.
6 hours of in-class work.
2 business law exams.
a 7 page business practices paper.
oh, and also a full 40 hour week at work.


there are only three weeks of school left which is such a relief. this weekend i have "nothing to do for school" because i'm exhausted, so i am pretending that i don't have anything that needs to be started/worked on/finished before wednesday night (since every professor likes to give their students a bunch of last minute exams, papers, etc. to do before break). i'm hiding my books, shutting down my computer, turning off my phone, and going into hibernation for the next two days.


for now, denial is bliss. i am a happy girl.
see me on monday and i probably wont be so happy anymore.

a few more wedding pictures

a few more pictures from aunt karla and my sister...

Will's mom hosted an amazing lunch for me a couple hours before the ceremony. thanks mama jen!



sara & corey with chubby! i love that little man!
plus... they are the cutest little family ever.




last time i saw my cousins they were shorter than me. i didnt even recognize them!



grandma carolyn, allie, aunt becky, beth & nick, and jamie/james (love my hammersley family!)

the hammersley sisters (should we hyphenate now sara?)
p.s. i'm mad that i'm wearing 4" heels and i'm still shorter than her!



my father-in-law and sister-in-law




aunt lynda with my lovely lady friends - becca, stacy, nanda!




grandparents unite!



just in case you need yet another picture of my amazing dress :)

wedding pictures

my new "aunt-in-law" took tons of pictures during our wedding weekend and i'm so thankful she did! we have to wait a couple months to see our professional pictures so in the meantime, here are some official unofficial photos. she did an amazing job! thanks aunt karla!

the inn at crestwood in boone, north carolina

terrace

even on a gloomy day it was so beautiful

family! brother (Cliff) and cousin (JP)

Will with granny & poppa

me!

stacy keene you're such a dream! mom = 27 & i love you



sara making sure my train never touched the ground! (i think im right in the middle of being bossy and telling her not to ever let it touch the ground haha)



more dress action

this dress made everything so perfect - thank you daddy!!

trying to "swing low" when your wife is a whole foot shorter than you was difficult :)

so happy! Will couldnt stop playing with his wedding band (if you're wondering what's going on with his hand haha)

prayer

robert kept telling us to try and have a "quiet moment" together - he obviously didn't realize that it's almost impossible for us to ever have a quiet moment....ever.

annnnd this is why i love my best friend. dear becca, thank you for making me smile every day. i love you.

michael (my brother) with my "entourage" -- becca, ann, stacy, sara

our lovely (and cold) wedding party - so dedicated!




all together

 



getting ready to jump

 


jumping! well kinda... we were all laughing so it was kinda hard to get it all together






flower toss. Will isn't tossing anything - i told him he had to catch my veil so it didn't touch the ground. i was all about not letting anything touch the ground that day.

  



funny

 

the reception



our cake topper says it all. no explanation needed...



...plus i think it looked almost exactly like us - the groom even has the classic "rugged" Willbey beard

will and the lady friends

our getaway truck "got hitched" - you can't see it but on the front it says "can't hunt alone anymore" and "laundry boy" hahahaha

my rollerskate mobile "caution! just married"
Will: i think it should just say "caution" all the time har har




one of my very favorite shots

 




 this is my absolute favorite picture so far......



our faces say it all... i look blissfully confused and will just looks.... pouty. he hates taking pictures.
pouty and confused - a match made in marriage heaven :)  

  

tornadoes and a deer

i'm really, really sick and having a really, really hard time focusing at work right now so here's an update.

last week Will and i were watching one of my favorite shows ever Parenthood when it was very rudely interrupted by a weather alert for a tornado watch...and then a warning...that it was coming straight towards us. we watched (and i panicked) as the radar map showed a nasty storm coming our way from winston and there reports that there had already been a couple spotted near the house. Will called up to the fire station down the road and asked if we could head over there for the time being until it passed, but it was already full! we ended up sitting in front of the tv for the next couple hours watching and waiting. luckily nothing came within a few miles of the house. but then the next evening.... an even worse storm and another tornado formation was headed our way. lucky for us (again) it didn't come that close to the house but the thunderstorm and wind took its toll on our little country bumpkin road (and my nerves!)

my husband the hunter has been living in the woods lately tracking his prey and finding where the innocent little deer creatures sleep and eat, and the paths they habitually travel along. he set up his deer stand and informed me that saturday was his lucky day for hunting so he would be waking up at 5 am to continue his tradition. last year on october 30th, he shot (as his brother says) "the oldest deer in the forest" at his parents hunting club in georgia. the year before that, again, on october 30th, he shot the "biggest deer ever in his life" out at his uncle's farm. this year proved to be lucky too. he woke me up at 9 am to tell me to get up and come outside to look at his trophy deer. being sick and cranky, i put up a fight for a few minutes until i realized that my 23-year-old hubby was dancing around like a child on christmas morning and this was something really important and exciting to him. i bundled up and followed him out to the backyard to admire his hard work and also, take a picture:

he spent the rest of the morning cleaning the deer and packing up all the meat.
i went back to bed.
all is well.

a steamy message

i promise a huge, super awesome, way bigger and better update soon but i'm at a coffee shop down the road from our new house trying to get as much homework done as my attention span allows since Clearwire lied to me and promised me that they could give me the "best internet ever! we guarantee it!" but ultimately could not "service me at my location" even though i'm on their "service location map." anyways...that's a long story.

between working long hours and camping out at school trying to get homework/papers/exams done, i haven't seen much of my lovely Willbey lately... but he did manage to sneak in on my late night shower and leave me a little message:

in my stressed, exhausted, sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and very emotional state of mind i'll admit it made me a little teary. he is the sweetest.

married for 2 weeks & i've already lost my husband

we're finally moved in to our new house out in summerfield! it took a week and a half but we finally made it and have most of the boxes unpacked. yes! we have definitely fallen in love with the area - our neighbors are great and it's very peaceful. i knew my hubby was going crazy living in the city and as soon as we saw the house we knew it was perfect for us.......and when i say "us" i really mean Will. here's why:

1) the neighbors have all kinds of fun farm animals which is amusing to him. one has mini donkeys, fainting goats, fur-less sheep, and the other (our landlord) has three horses with an open invitation to go riding with him and his wife.
2) he has his own shed and workshop to go work on man stuff in.
3) he has his own room to hang antlers, his bow, guns etc. (i wouldn't let him "decorate" in the old house because....well, you could say i'm just not a big fan of his decor choices haha)
4) the land our house is on is pretty big...really big actually. there are 60 acres of woods and creek behind us that are all shared between us, and two of the nighbors. Will has been really antsy to find out the rules for being out on the land and finally got his answer on saturday.

saturday started out pretty rough - we woke up at seven a.m. to roofers pounding directly over our bedroom ceiling. i was not happy. we got up and saw that both of the neighbors had come over on their riding lawnmower,tractor, etc. and were standing in the front yard watching the roofers. as we were leaving to go get breakfast before i went into work, this conversation occured:

landlord: "saw some coyotes back in the woods the other day. heard em last night."
Will: "oh yeah?"
landlord: "yeah there's a bunch back there. hey - if you see one you kill that *$%^ okay?"
Will: "alright, will do. i got my bow and my shot gun and my rifle here so that's not a problem."
neighbor: "you know...we should just make a day of it and go hunt those &^#$! and get em all."
Will: "sounds good to me"
        later....
Will: "you got a lot of deer back there?"
neighbor: "oh yeah. see em all the time. you hunt?"
Will: "yes sir. i've been wantin to go for a while but just havent found a good place."
neighbor: "well i tell ya what, you're free to hunt back there whenever you like if you don't mind takin my son out with you once or twice."
Will: "not at all. sounds good!"
neighbor: "you use a bow or a gun or what?"
Will: " i got both but i've been wantin to get that gun out in the woods for a while now." (hint hint)
neighbor: "well i dont have a problem with you usin your gun as long as your safe, responsible ya know all that. but hey, you just let me know when you get one and i'll ride my four-wheeler down there and help you get it back to your house." (i started getting sick to my stomach at this point in time)
Will: "well thanks man i appreciate it."
neighbor: "no problem. you're doin me a favor! hey while i got you here, i got a ton of turkeys that i can't get rid of. my dog can run em off for a short while but they always come back. think you can take care of those *&@# too?"
Will: "yes sir absolutely."

so now Will has his very own hunting club and what do you know, saturday was also opening day for our county's hunting season. it was a fun two weeks while it lasted but i have now officially lost my husband to a deerstand somewhere deep in the woods. he should resurface sometime early next year. i hope.